NO Car,NO Angel, NO Luck!
by PrincessTaya
Summary: so i had an idea. What would happen if the impala was a human? Of course major SLASH! Sam/Dean! Let me know what you think!I own nothing!ON HOLD!
1. No Car

"Okay so that was a bust" I said as we headed out of the local police station. Sam and I were looking into some mysterious disappearances in a town in Nebraska. But there was nothing sticking out with the either victim, one was a school teacher and the other worked at the local bar, one female the other male. No connection they just both disappeared.

"Yeah, I think your right. Let's head over to the school and let's see what we can find……." Sam trailed off and stopped dead in his tracks. I looked over to where he was starring trying to see what he was seeing. Then I realized it wasn't what was there that was the problem.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAR?!" I screamed slightly hyperventilating already as I rushed over to the empty space next to the ally where my baby had been when we went inside. "Calm down Dean, I'm right here." I female voice said ally. Sam and I turned to see a slender beauty stand there with her hand on her hip and our bags and weapons trunk behind her.

She had long silky black hair hat flowed down to her waist and her skin was a creamy ivory which was offset by the dark blue button up shirt she was using as a dress, wait was that Sam's shirt?

"Who are you? And why are you wearing my shirt?" Sam asked answering the question had yet to ask. "Ouch after all we've been through and you don't recognize me?" the beauty had smug smirk on her face that looked oddly similar to the one I have patented.

"Should we?" I finally spoke walk over to where our belongings lay beside an old dumpster. Which gave me a better view of 'the beauty' that apparently had chrome colored eyes, not silver, Chrome? Oh shit!

"What…you…impossible!" I stumbled over my own words as I tried to make this make since. My Car was now a woman, a very hot woman. "You came back from hell and stop the apocalypse? I've been around Winchesters long enough to know nothing is impossible." She stated in a tone similar to Sam's I know more than you so that make me better' tone. Oh Damn!

"Wait so you're the impala?" Sam sound skeptical which meant "Prove it" he challenged. I knew it.

'The beauty/Impala' sauntered over to Sam lifted her chin in a purely Winchester fashion and gave a curt "Fine" then she turned her Fiery gaze on me "You lost your virginity to Susan Davis in my backseat when you where 17 not 14 like you told everyone." Now she was doing Dad's eyebrow thing, creepy! "I knew that, hell even bobby knew that. You didn't prove anything." Sam countered setting his shoulders the way he did right before he and Dad would get into a screaming match. Apparently I'm not the only one seeing the resemblance.

"I wasn't finished." She snapped sending Sam Dad's warning glare then looking back at me with a mix of affection and….Pain? "Sammy lost his virginity also in my back seat with a girl named Lisa Dale when he was 18 and both of you where conceived on my hood." Sam and I shared a look then stared at 'Impala 'she winced slightly as she shifted her weight and I looked down at her feet. "Oh shit let's go get you some better close and some shoes this grounds got to be hot." No wonder she looked pain she was standing barefoot on a smoldering sidewalk.

Sam motion for us to go into the thrift store near the alley, 'Impala' quickly head for thee women's close grabbed a few shirts and some jeans a pair of pair of worn combat boots and an old black denim jacket. Sam payed and she went into the bathroom to change "Dude, what the hell?" I asked Sam who just shook his head looking as confused as I felt.

'Impala' came back wearing a dark blue tank top under thee denim jacket and a pair of dark denim jeans and the boots. Damn, she was defiantly fine! "Stop drooling Dean I'm older than your parents and I now every one of your dirty little secrets" she said giving me a smirk that seem to be a mesh of Sam stubborn and me cocky. The combo made it completely unique.

"Um…What should we call you?" Sam asked as we headed out of the store. She seemed to pounder it for a minute then "Paula, Paula Winchester" She answered. I Think Sam and I were still in shock because we both simply nodded then walk in silence the block or so to the motel.

Once we got inside though.

"What In the HELL happened?! Why aren't you a car?" I yelled as 'Paula' sat unfazed on MY bed flipping through and old magazine that had been setting on the nightstand. "I don't know" she sighed then turned another page "There must have been something "Sam tossed out over his rapid clacking as her did his geek boy thing. Still not looking up from her magazine Paula muttered back "Nope. Nothing that I saw". I'm sure Sam and I was both about to throttle her when there was a knock at the door. 

"Who the hell?" I mumbled as I opened the door. To find a mud covered, baggy eyed Castiel standing at the door. He looked like headed been chewed up than spit out. "Hell, Cas what happened to you?" I asked as I moved to let him in. He moved slowly in then sat down on the edge of MY bed, oblivious to Paula. "Cas?" I asked again now I'm really worried. He looked up at me and faintly oh so faintly whispered.

"I'm Human"

Then passed out cold.

Oh Shit!


	2. No Angel

"What the hell?"Sam nearly shouted, expressing our mutual frustration as he ran a shaky hand through his long locks. I was pacing back in forth at this point "I have no idea!" I actually shout my reply.

"Shhhh! He's sleeping! Poor thing." 'Paul' quieted me as she brushed the loose strains of hair off of Cas's unconscious face. Oh HELL no!!

"NO! You are not going to get all lovey dovey with captain comatose over there! YOU are going to turn back into a car and Cas is going to go back to floating around screwing shit up!" I saw Cas flinch in his sleep as my voice got louder. The look that came across Paula's face was the almost as scary as what she said " Like hell I will and if you even think of changing me back I will chop your balls off with you own knife and shove them down your throat! Now shut the hell up, Cas is your friend and he is ill show some god dam RESPECT!" Almost.

I slowly back away and slide in to the chair sitting next to Sam. "Whoa! Okay lets all calm down." Sam said raising his hands in a gesture of peace, always the diplomat. Paula look sincerely remorseful as she apologize " Sorry De, it's just I've seen what the other angels put you and Cas through and I always felt Cas got the worst of it. He was always so loyal and the screwed him over." She had a point; I had always thought the same. "Yeah I get it" I mumbled back rubbing a weary hand down my face.

"Besides I've always want to be able to help you boy and now I can" she stated faculty. "You did help us as a car" Sam offered "It's not the same all I could do then was carry you further into the darkness I was never able to protect you from it" her eyes seemed unfocused as she spoke and I could see the smallest hint of tears in her eyes "I was no help to your father and I refuse to lose you boys well err again I guess." Before either Sam or I could respond to that Cas stirred awake.

Okay so I'll admit it did make me feel a bit better to see Cas's reaction to waking up with his head cradled in Paula's lap. He shot of the bed like a rocket nearly knocking the table over in his hast to get to the other side of the room. His face was flushed red and he was panting and wide eyed, he looked like a deer in head lights. "Cool it Hun I don't bite…hard" Paula laughed then stood and tried approaching Cas slowly. Like you would if you were approaching a wounded animal.

"I….uh…..I…..who?" Cas tried to form as sentence but failed. I Stood then to gesturing for Cas to take my seat, which he did with ever taking his eyes off Paula. " This is Paula, she used to be the Impala now she's human. Go figure!" I gave my best fake laugh but Cas just kept staring at her. "Why don't you go get cleaned up while Sam gets you knew clothes then you can tell us what happened to you?"Paula offered in a soothing tone, Cas blinked "You have the most mesmerizing eyes" Cas blurted out in true Castiel Style.

Paula just chuckled then gestured Cas to the bathroom. He went, the sound of the shower starting let us all relax. I'm so glad he knew how to work a shower, so not something I want to go over with him. "Okay I'll run over to that thrift store again and pick up something that would fit Cas, Paula you help Sam with research. Find out what the hell is going on…..please?" I added the 'please' when I notice Paula and Sam's identical looks of irritation at my demanding tone.

This was going to get interesting.


	3. Sorry!

**Hey Guys**

**Sorry i haven't posted in a while! I've been moving and cleaning and i fell down the stairs in our new house and hit my head so i had to go to the E.R. I'm fine but i have bad headaches and am super tired so i haven't been get much work done. I promise i'll be getting the next chapters in everything done and podted very soon. I'm really sorry.**

_**-Lady L'Amor **_


	4. Still No Angel

Wow that was harder than I thought. I guess I should have figured out what size Cas wore before I left. Well at least I managed to get him some close that would make him look like the 100 year old virgin.

I laughed at my own silent joke as I opened the door to the hotel. "Hey guys I'm ba…..what the hell?!" my eye's went wide at what I was seeing. There was Sam laying flat on his back in the middle of the room with Paula's foot pressed against his throat and MY gun pointed at his head. While Cas sat perched in My clothes hanging off him on MY bed looking down at them with rapid interest. Paula turned to me with a bright smile "Oh Hey Dean! Back so soon?" she removed her foot and set my gun on the table then offered a hand to Sam who was blushing a deep red.

"I repeat WHAT THE HELL?!" I shouted as Sam let Paula help him up. "Sam told Paula she would be more help as a car because you two didn't have the time to train her. Paula told him that she didn't need to be trained and Sam told her to prove it and well you see the outcome." Castiel explained as he watched Paula move across the room.

"Wait so she kicked your ass?" I asked looking at Sam as he avoided eye contact with me. "Shut up" he mumbled then sat back behind his laptop and started clacking away again. I laughed for a good 20 seconds before Sam chunked the T.V remote at me which I caught and sent back. "Boys, don't throw things inside!" Paula chastened us as she shook her head in mock disappointment. "So did you guys actually find anything while I was gone?" I asked as I threw the bag of clothes to Cas who hurried off to the bathroom with them.

"Well Sam had a theory about me and I think he may be right" Paula offered and motioned for Sam to elaborate. "Well I think we're dealing with a witch. A school teacher and bartender both disappear without a trace? Not likely. I think they didn't disappear I think there still here just change into something else like Paula was." Sam explained then turned his laptop towards me so I could see the screen which was cover with a list of transformation spells.

"Great, I hate witches. What about Cas?" I regretted the question as soon as I saw their reactions. The both looked utterly dejected. "I was cast out" Castiel spoke softly as he emerged from the bathroom again. Fully dressed in a white t-shirt, dark denim jeans and a black long sleeved button up shirt with faded white wings on the back (I thought it was perfect). "What do you mean?" I asked wearily "I mean I was cast out of heaven. I was told I 'I had become too human'." Castiel had sat down on my bed again as he starred through us.

"Damn, Cas I'm sorry. " I apologized for what I don't know and gave him a pat on the shoulder when I thought of something important. "Why didn't they erase your memory?" Cas seemed surprised by my question " Well because I asked them not to " He said as if it made perfect sense, he may not be an angel anymore but he was defiantly still Castiel. Sam put his face in his hands and I just shook my head " And they just let you keep them? Just because you said please?" my voice was laced with sarcasm which was totally lost on Cas who continued to stare at Paula.

" Castiel, Focus! Why did they let you keep your memories if they wanted you to be a normal human?" I demand causing Cas to snap his attention back over to me. I could hear Sam chuckling behind me and Paula telling him to shut up. Ok we are getting way to comfortable having Paula around.

Cas looked up at me with his patented ' isn't it odvious' look and explained " because they didn't want me to be a 'normal' human they wanted me to be like you. A hunter."

And just when i was thinking things could get any worse!


	5. Still No Car

Why must my life be so complicated?

I mean what did i do to deserve this? I was a good son and i'm an ok brother! I spend everyday of my life hunter evil creatures and protecting innocent people! So why does the universe keep throwing even harder and more painful tasks at me!

"Castiel no offense but like i said to uh Paula" Sam rubbed his throat before finshing,earning a chuckle from Paula "we don't have the time to train you" i nodded my head in agreement.

" No need i'll take care of him!" Paula volunteered winking at Cas who turned a very hilarious shade of red " Uh um i have an advance knowledge of spells and charms i can take care of myself" Cas tryed to seem tough but failed miserable due to his embrassed stutter." Oh come on Angel we can be a kickass team!"Paula insisted cozying up next to Cas who shrank away.I chuckled and shook my head .Paula was to much like a Winchester and she had her sights set, Poor Cas.

" And besides by the time i'm done fixing a few problems between these two chuckledheads i doubt their gonna want anyone tagging along and interrupting their 'alone time'." Paula waggeled her delicate eyebrows as she spoke and unfortunatly for Sam, he had just took a large swig of his beer. Unfortunatly for me i was sitting right across from him so when he did his spit take i got a beer spit shower " Fuck! Sam! That's digusting!" i shouted as i got up and head over to the bathroom ignoring Sam's embrassed apologizes.

I pushed away any thoughts about what Paula had said as i started the shower.

Sam's POV

Oh Dear God!

This whole situation was driving me crazy!

And then 'Paula' had to go say that and i ever so gracefully spat beer all over Dean.

Very Attractive! I palmed my forehead then carded my hand threw my hair tyring to ignore the nagging voice in the back of my mind'_And why do you want your BROTHER to find you attractive?'. _I really hate my brain sometimes.

"You should tell him." Paula's voice was close to me and for some reason calming. I didn't like how easy it was to be around her. " Tell him what?" i tryed to seem oblivous but i knew what she meant and judging by her ' bullshit' look she knew it as well.

" Don't even try that shit on me Samuel! I Know you better than you do and same goes for the pig headed brother of yours! You two are crazy about each other but niether of you are willing to admit it and it's grating on my last nerve!" Paula stood infront of me hands on her hips and a frightingly determind look on her face._Wait, did she say Dean felt the same way?_

" Dean feels the same way?" i whispered suddenly very aware of the confused ex-Angel sitting across the room. Paula glanced over to Cas then sat next to me with a soft smile gracing her lovely cheeks. "Of course he does! You this whole world,hun. Dean was miserable when you went to Stanford! He's in love with you!" Her voice was sure but my mind refused to believe, refused to hope.

" No Way." I stood and moved away from Paula trying to organize my thoughts before i spun back towards her."Dean in love with ME? Not possible! I mean he's amazing. Always taking care of me and putting himself on the line for me! Me falling for him makes since but him falling for me is ...Crazy! He's Dean! Number one hunter and Ladies Man extrodinary,Dean Winchester in love with his snot nose pain in the ass little brother? Yeah,Right!" i scoffed the idea becoming more ridiculous the more i thought about.

" Well the pain in the ass parts right but his little brother isn't so snotty or little anymore." Dean's voice from behind me caused my whole body to freeze. " And as for the number one hunter thing that might be true but Ladies man extrodinary, It's pretty good cover." I wanted to say something or do something intellegnt and mature but i was embrasssed and terrified of what Dean was gonna do.

So i ran.

Dean's POV

I stood in the doorway to the bathroom trying not to laugh as Sammy bolted from the room his face even redder than before." That went well" Paula giggled. I couldn't help the smile that pastered it's self across my face. Sam loved me! My Sammy was in love with me!

" Why don't you go chase your run away bride while Angel and i see if we can figured out where our witch is?" Paula motion towards the door. I gave a curt nod then headed out in search for Sammy. My smile grew wider when i heard Cas's nervous voice " Um why are you looking at me like that?"


	6. No Sam!

Sam's POV

Ow , my head is killing me. What happened?

I remember talking to Paula then hearing Dean and running from the hotel. I ran until I reached the small bar and then…..nothing. Well that can't be good.

And seeing as I can't see anything around me and my arms are tied behind my back I'm gonna say it's defiantly not good. Oh crap somethings moving towards me!

Dean's POV

Shit!

Where the hell did he go?

I've been looking for Sam for over an hour and he's just disappeared! _'Don't Panic!'._

I finally decided to park the car (stolen of course) at the bar and check inside (for the 4th time) and as I was heading towards the door when something in the parking lot caught my eye.

Sammy's cell phone.

Ok so Sam was wondering around somewhere without his phone, no big deal. I bent down and picked it up only to drop ti again when something wet and stick made contact with my fingers. I looked at the substance smeared across my palm in the street light only to see red. Blood.

My hand was covered in blood. Sammy's phone was covered in blood.

'_Okay now you can panic!'_

I ran back to the car and fired it up and tore down the street. I didn't even get the car parked good before I was shoving the door open and racing up the stairs. I didn't even attempt to unlock it I just kicked it open " What the hell, Dean?" Paula question jumping into a defensive stance, obviously she could tell I was freaking.

"Sam's missing, I found his phone in a parking lot covered in blood! We have to find him! did you figure out where the witch is?" I started gathering the weapons as I spoke. " Yeah , I looked at the all the missing cases and they center around the same stretch of farm land, the witch is probably working from there" Paula pulled out a map ,showing me the area she was talking about.

"Alright let's head over there and check it out." I stopped at the door and looked around the room then to Paula had Sam's bags " Where's Cas?"

She looked down at her boots and ….was that a little blush ? "He's in the bathroom…..hiding." I shook my head, I did not have time for this! " Cas get your chicken ass out here we're leaving!" Cas peeked out of the bathroom then looked to Paula who had her back to him. " I mean it Cas get out here or we're leaving you!" I stormed out of the room with Paula not far behind me.

Cas shuffled after us , head down, shoulders slouched, the exact image of a child when they know their in trouble. I glanced to Paula , she had her head held high and her jaw set in a stubborn line the exact image of a Winchester when their upset and are trying to hide it. Any other time i would have asked but right now Sammy needs me!


End file.
